Lessons From Inside the Embalming Room

Last month, I met up with my Intern self and shared some of what I’ve learned relating to the arrangement room. Topics included presenting options without bias, allowing for quiet moments (not seeking to fill them with unneeded words), and not taking things personally. During this visit, I found my intern self leaving the embalming room. We were still at my first post-college place of employment (which would not be where I stayed for long), and I was trying to navigate the connection between what I had learned in school and what I was expected to know now. The idea that education was the means to continue learning was not recognized here, and I was often alone in the prep room. It would be just the decedent and I, and the looming quest of locating the vessels I needed. Back then, this was a very intimidating and often lengthy process. If I inadvertently punctured the vein, and my view was obscured, it felt like the end of the world.

Modern Day Embalming Textbooks

I didn’t necessarily mind the solitude of the prep room, but for my lack of experience. I would encounter my first complex case here (jaundice w/ edema) and inadvertently scare myself half to death when an exhaust fan created the appearance of a decedent waving his arms at me. (It was actually the ripple of the dry-cleaning plastic that was protecting his clothing from his cosmetics as he awaited placement in his casket.)

I had more advice for my Intern self, lessons learned, that I went on to share:

You will someday be able to find arteries with your eyes closed. Locating vessels by feel will be an immensely helpful skill and one that can be improved over time. With experience, many things get easier. Your process will become more streamlined, and you will develop a rhythm and order to your approach. That’s not to say that sometimes a vessel will be hiding and require extra effort to locate it, making you question your skills, but trust me – it’s in there.

Things will change, and most cases will be “difficult” in the future. Aside from the decedents you care for as a Dept. of Defense Mortician (which are considered “difficult” by industry standards), you will notice changes due to medical advances. As people live longer, new medications are developed, and individuals become larger, new challenges will emerge. Keeping up with these trends is important, and upholding your curious nature will serve you well.

Start taking care of your body sooner rather than later. The many years of lifting, pushing, and pulling can be hard on your back. Strength training can help, along with understanding proper lifting form. You’ll figure this out eventually, but if you can recognize that early, you’ll establish muscle memory that much faster. People get hurt easily in our line of work, so look out for yourself. Use equipment when available and ask for help when you need to. (As a woman having to prove that “Yes, I can lift just as well as my male counterparts,” you will have challenges with this early on.)

Portable Embalming Instrument Kit

Your best is enough. You will have cases where you are dissatisfied with the results, even after your best efforts. Others will assure you that you have made a difference, but you won’t accept that and sometimes feel disheartened.  The good news is that you will continue to ask questions, seek improvement, and hone your skills throughout your career. *Believe it or not, you will teach others someday because you do know what you’re doing. Stop seeking perfection, as it will always elude you.

At this point, I released my weary intern self and saved my remaining wisdom for another day.

April 11, 2025